AEAS作文批改案例介绍

　　想要考好AEAS，写作是关键的一步，澳大利亚中小学考试网为大家带来AEAS写作技巧和讲解，希望对大家有所帮助。

　　"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

　　“luck has nothing to do with success.” Is that true? As far as I am concerned, luck actually plays a very important role in our life and sometimes even[批注1] becomes the key to success.[批注2]

　　A very famous example is an ancient Chinese story based on real history called” Zhuge to have the aid of east wind”. Thousands of years ago, there were 3 kingdoms having wars on the continent. In order to defend kingdom Wu, the military adviser of kingdom Shu, Zhugeliang, came up with an idea to set the chained warships of kingdoms Wu on fire. But his trickwasn’t perfect. If there was no east wind by the next day, he could fail and millions of soldiers and people could die. Fortunately, the other day turned out to be a windy day and the east wind helped Shu managed to win this war. In this story, we can see how important luck is[批注3] .

　　But in order to succeed, we should pay attention to hard work rather than luck. As an old saying goes “opportunities are for those who are well prepared[批注4] ” . Depending all on luck will be meaningless and lead you to nothing. There is a Chinese fable story can be a good explanation. Once there was farmer who happened to see a rabbit crush into a tree and kill itself. The famer thought that things like this might happen again if he was lucky enough. So he started to wait by that tree everyday after at the expense of his corps in the field but had nothing run into the tree ever again. We may laugh and think the farmer is stupid, but the truth is sometimes some of us do things exactly like this[批注5] .

　　[批注1]Luck is a key role in success,但在下一段要先有论述，why?之后是例子。不能用一个例子，说明一个事实或理论。

　　[批注2] to be successful, to后面不能接名词

　　[批注3]每一段要空一行

　　[批注4]这段与论点不符，应继续论述lucy的重要性

　　[批注5]一定要有结尾段。

　　其标志是：in conclusion; in short……….

　　(1)写作要有格式，开头，中间，结尾时必不可少的。

　　(2)要满足规定字数的要求，一般来说，尽量字数多一些。

　　(3)论点要清晰，论理要有说服力。

　　以上就是为大家整理的AEAS考试高分经验分享大总结，希望通过这些经验的分享，可以帮助大家在考试中获得更好的成绩。